Flaps Blog

I have many friends in cross cultural and inter racial marriages and relationships. One of these I appreciate most is Sean and Luba. South African white ‘boerseun’ (21) marries Russian blonde bomb (19). When they met neither could speak English - well ok - Sean could a bit! But Luba… aikona! They flirted by means of sign language! That was 11 years ago - or more - I’m not sure - luba still looks 25! (Incidently today Luba is totally fluent in Afrikaans and English, so much so, that she’s able to copywrite in both languages.)

When people marry across the borders of culture, they enter another culture, whether they want to or not. (Can’t ignore the in-laws!) And somehow these couples make it work as often as single-culture couples do. With hard work.

You learn to understand the other culture.

You learn to respect the other culture.

You learn to communicate better within that culture.

You learn to love the other culture (whether you like it or not).

They say you’ve mastered entering another culture when you understand there humour.

Now remember, the church states that it wants to ‘reach the world’ - a questionable statement, but let’s leave it at that. When we think about sub-cultures in society, and we contemplate how to engage more effectively, this ‘cross-cultural-marriage-thing’ makes you think. There are certain sub-cultures I don’t associate with easily. Some in Christian circles. And some in the general world around me. (I just cannot get excited about Sewende Laan) Yet I am called to engage with/love all people.

Now that is a challenge. And it stays a continual challenge. There’s always a default that is ingrained in ourselves, that’s part of our blood, part of our soul - that goes against this challenging marriage between culture. But if we are honest about our commitment to LOVE OUR NEIGHBOUR, we will care enough to engage in the commitments of marriage when it is asked of us.

And become ONE with that other person I don’t associate with.

Paul became a Roman for the Romans.

This means you take interest in that weird kid’s weird music, and try and learn something from that world.

This means you try and understand the conservative or the liberal in the office opposite you even though you secretly think he’s insane.

This means you hang out with the Roman guy even though it’s not fun.

All of this is extremely hard for me. Thank you Luba and Sean for showing the way.

Warren and Steynie (I don’t have a pic of Sean and Luba)

There?s nothing biblical to WWJD. (except perhaps Jesus saying ?be holy as I am holy)

It?s just a cultural trend of a certain spiritual subculture. Maybe we should make wrist bands that say What Would Jesus NOT do. Because ironically, many who carry the band ? do quite the opposite of what Jesus did.

Some see this as a measuring stick of right and wrong. One of my students was inhibited in getting a tattoo because her good mother warned, ?but would Jesus get a tattoo?). I think he might have. And I don?t think he would have worn his hair the way you do? But what does it matter. Is WWJD (and thus JESUS himself) our legal measuring stick for right and wrong, so that we had better start washing our feet before we eat, or is Jesus our prime example of love, grace, unconditional love, integration with culture, and above all the trashing of legalism? When Jesus said, ?be holy as I am holy?, what did he mean? I don?t profess to know. (There will be some who profess to do and write a book about it!) But I don?t think he meant it legally.

Would Jesus have worn a band that said, What Would Father Do? Or would he just blend into culture and love on prostitutes and tax swindlers? As a general rule the WWJD clan DON?T hang out in clubs, dress in too modern a way or listen to ?secular? music. I think you would have found Jesus in those place more often than in church. And he wouldn?t have been handing out tracts ? he would have been engaging in conversation, about ESKOM, football, or the rising price of gas.

Now it seems I?m out after the WWJD activist. I?m not. You can wear your little band. But I am making a statement about the WWJD activist who defines Jesus in the frame of his WWJD narrow minded picture of the LAW.

I think Jesus was? a good man ? full of truth ? love ? kindness. A man people felt safe with, acknowledged by. A man people could count on. A true friend.

Jesus didn?t DO. He WAS.

Maybe we should wear bands that say, I AM.

Or maybe we should just BE.

HOLY.