Flaps Blog

This kid has inspired me over the last week. 6 weeks old - fighting for his life. His name is Jeandr?. About 2 weeks ago he was diagnosed with a rare case of heart failure - the first doctor said they should take him home and just make his death as comfortable as possible. The second, a Dr Susan Vosloo, said she would cancel her holiday and take the risk of operating and hope for the best. Over the last 2 weeks I have followed his progress, surviving the operation, and fighting for every next day in ICU. Personally I don’t know how Derick and Rouch?, his parents, are making it. But I guess when you have to, you do.

This is a picture of Jeandr? about a week ago, and then follow the link for a video of him yesterday. The link takes you to facebook group that prays for the little one. Just click the video there.

Video (click here)

Over the last week I have contemplated the value of life, or maybe more the power of the life force in us. I also believe God values life. And I believe thousands of prayers for this boy have empowered him to battle away to stay alive, even though his parents may at times have lost hope. This boy has had me close to tears more than once this week.

And then I read in the Beeld about a baby that died in a Pretoria state hospital because the nurse was on her way and did not want to miss her taxi. The mother gave birth alone and only 15 minutes after the babies birth did some arrive.

?n 38-jarige vrou van Pretoria se baba is kort n? geboorte in ?n staatshospitaal dood nadat ?n verpleegster haar alleen gelos het omdat sy bang was sy mis haar vervoer huis toe.

Me. Catherine Masingi het gister by haar werkgewer se huis in Silverton vertel die baba se koppie het reeds gekroon, toe die verpleegster glo omstreeks 18:45 die pad vat.

?Sy het ges? sy?s jammer sy kan my nie help nie. Sy moet tjaila, want sy gaan haar bus mis.?

Masingi het Dinsdagaand alleen op ?n bedjie in die Mamelodi-daghospitaal geboorte gegee aan ?n dogtertjie, en glo bykans 15 minute lank om hulp geroep.

? ?n Ander verpleegster het uiteindelik opgedaag en aan haar kollegas ges?: ?O, sy jok nie, die baba het gekom.? ?

Masingi s? die verpleegsters het die baba se hartklop tydens die geboorteproses gemonitor en alles was glo in orde. Sy was nege maande swanger.

?Ek het die oggend by die hospitaal opgedaag. Terwyl ek gekraam het, het ek gehoor hoe roep ?n ander vrou uit die toilet.

?Die verpleegsters het soontoe gehardloop, maar sy het reeds geboorte gegee en haar baba het op die vloer geval.?

Masingi s? n? haar dogtertjie se geboorte het ?n personeellid nie geweet hoe om die naelstring te knip nie. Ander verpleegsters het glo van oorkant die saal aan haar verduidelik hoe.

?Ek het die baba twee keer hoor huil. Sy het ook goed opgegooi. Hulle het haar op ?n skaal gesit en toe het ?n verpleegster vorms ingevul.

?Sy het n? ?n ruk gesien die baba is geel en hulle het die dokter geroep.?

Volgens Masingi het die dokter probeer om haar sterwende baba se lewe te red, maar glo aan personeel ges? hulle het hom te laat geroep. Die baba het vermoedelik mekonium (donkerkleurige ontlasting wat babas binne die eerste dae n? geboorte uitskei) ingekry.

Op Masingi se l?er staan daar glo dat die baba aan natuurlike oorsake dood is, maar haar werkgewer, me. Adri Pienaar, het gister ges? sy het op die sakkie waarin die baba se lykie by die lykhuis geberg word, ?n nota gesien met die woorde ?birth asphyxia?. ?n Suurstoftekort, en een van die grootste voorkombare oorsake van babasterftes in staatshospitale.

I think how one doctor cancels her holiday to perhaps save a baby’s life and how another baby dies because a woman doesn’t want to miss her taxi. It’s all so sad. And then Derick writes this about a week ago:

Thursday 31/7/08 17h45: Still outside SICU. They are busy sowing up the skin over his heart. I met a Muslim couple in the waiting room. There 18mnth old boy, Mas-ood, had his heart attacked by a virus. They can’t do anything for him. Just wait and hope that he pulls through. A heart transplant might be an option. Their daughter, Amrah 3mnths, died last month of broncho pneumonia. Please pray that our Father in heaven also do a miracle for them!

Isn’t that insane?

I don’t really know what my point of this blog is. Perhaps just creating an awareness. A respect for life. A realization of the life force in us (given by Christ I believe). An awareness of others’ pain irrespective of religion. How often do we fight for life like this little boy is fighting?

I think of some of the things we allow in our lives. I think of the things in this world that kill or steal our life-force. And we allow it.

Any comments?

A friend of mine recently wrote the following article. (You wouldn’t know who it is so don’t try and do the math and figure it out.) It’s about the single life - of the unmarried person. I think it’s brilliantly written and I think many singles will identify. I would love your comments, Singles. I also think it is an eye-opener for some innocent but ignorant married people. I would like your comments as well. Unfortunately for our English, French and Chinese readers, the article is in Afrikaans.? Sooooorry!? Another thing - it’s a bit longer than my regular blogs - but worth the read - please go to the effort!

Om te trou of nie te trou nie

Die nuus dat my ware bachelor mel-fleg skoolmaatjie op 33 trou het die reeds wankelrige muur in my binneste erg laat begin kantel. Toe hy my vertel dat hy en sy rooi-kop bosnimf Zanzibar toe was vir hulle wittebrood en dat hy boonop getroud-wees aanbeveel omdat sy ?lewe rigting begin kry het? as gevolg van di? ingrypende stap ? toe wil-wil die muur net oorhel. Binnekant toe. Asof daar nie reeds ?n hele klomp skerppuntige rotse hier binne rondl? nie. Lewe rigting begin kry. Zanzibar. Steek, steek. Bloei.

Pieter was soos die laaste vesting wat val. Ons is baie eenders. Albei melankolies-flegmaties ? volgens ?n persoonlikheidstoets jare terug by ?n skoolverlaterskamp. Die enigste twee in die ganse groep. Baie keer saam geglimlag oor die uitdagings van di? persoonlikheid. Asof ons ?n geheim deel. Bondgenote. Mekaar so goed verstaan. Nooit verlief gewees op mekaar nie. Ons is net te eenders. Te stil en sonder opwinding wanneer ons saam was. Nou, vyftien jaar later op 32-jarige ouderdom lees ek weer op oor die melankoliese persoonlikheid. Introvert der introvert. Deins terug vir verandering. Sensitief. Perfeksionisties. ?Dit is nie snaaks dat hierdie tipe lewenslank enkellopend bly nie omdat meneer of mejuffrou Perfek nooit opdaag nie?. Pieter, jy het hulle verkeerd bewys. Jou mejuffrou Perfek het opgedaag. Jou lewe het ?rigting gekry?. Jy?t die land van single-wees vaarwel toegeroep. Die pyn agter jou gesit.

Sien, die kantlyn-lewe van enkellopendheid het baie geheime steekpyne.

Besoek jy jong getroude mense, neem jy jou voor dat jy dit nooit weer gaan doen nie. Die warmte en intimiteit vang jou ontkant. Veral as die aangetrokkenheid dik in die lug hang. Jou alleen-lewe staan skielik erg uit en jy voel in die pad. Terselfdetyd ? hoe verwarrend kan die lewe tog nie wees nie ? bring die potensi?le versmorendheid van so ?n verhouding ?n hol kol op jou maag.

Kuier jy by jou vriende in kantlynland merk jy op hoe hulle hulle lewens inrig rondom die leemtes van di? bestaan. Naby-verhoudings met persone van dieselfde geslag is algemeen ? verhoudings waarin ‘n derde persoon dikwels uitgesluit voel. Steeds nestel jou enkel-vriende in ‘n spesiale plek in jou hart. Al is julle enkelingskap selde ‘n onderwerp van bespreking, praat julle immers almal kantlyn-taal. Trou een van hulle dalk wel, is die transisie na die w?reld buite die kantlyn opvallend. Jy kan dit al voorspel. Jy?t dit immers al meermale beleef. Die oorbeweeg impliseer dat hulle uit sirkulasie is vir jou vriendskap. Want sien, hulle belange het verander. Wat nou belangrik is vir haar, is om manlief gelukkig te maak. Sy sal jou dalk bel op ?n oggend wat hy gaan gholf speel, maar dit gebeur selde. En dan droog die gesprek ook maar gou op. Twee w?relde. Of sy verwag hulle eersteling en jy kan later self die boek skryf oor watergeboortes en borsvoeding. Wat nou belangrik is vir hom ? dis nou jou single vriend wat die knoop deurgehaak het ? is dat sy vrou nooit sal wonder oor sy vriendskap met jou nie. So, om nie moles te maak nie, hou jy doelbewus en definitief die afstand. En rou in die geheim oor nog ‘n verlore vriendskap.

By single mans is jy ongemaklik, want jy kan nie help om te voel soos die volgende potensi?le kandidaat vir sy kerfstok is nie. ?n Meer onstellende gedagte is dat hy jou dalk glad nie raaksien of aantreklik vind nie. Dit gebeur wel soms dat jy voorwaar die geskenk uit die hemel is en hy kry jou lief, lief, lief ? terwyl jy stoei met die knaende onsekerheid of dit vir hom nie eintlik net gaan oor lyflike plesier nie. Iets waarvan jy hom reeds baie meer gegee het as wat jy wou. Jy is lankal reeds by die pynlike ontnugtering verby dat mans nooit eintlik net vriende wil (kan?) wees nie.

In ?n getroude man se geselskap weet jy nie hoe om op te tree nie. Jou le? ringvinger dui luidkeels die verskillende planete aan waarop julle bly. Dat jy ?n kantlyn-bewoner is. En hy nie beskikbaar. Verbode vrug. Al lyk hy hoe oulik. Want vroulief se teken van ewige trou blink opvallend aan sy ringvinger.

Jou voorkoms is voortdurend ‘n kwessie. Doen jy geen moeite met jouself nie, stort jou selfbeeld by die brug af. Besluit jy die oggend om tog te tittewyt, smaal die spie?l terug: ?So vir wie is di? nou eintlik? Gehoop iemand sien jou raak??

Blaai jy ?n buitelug/vakansiehou-tydskrif deur, besef jy jy gaan waarskynlik nooit daarby uitkom om jou top-vyf bestemmings te sien nie, want wie wil nou alleen gaan? So, nou gaan jy nie op vakansie nie. Nooit nie. Of sending-uitreike, ja. Werk-trips, ja. Kuier vir jou ouers, ja. Maar ?n vakansie soos wat net jy daarvan sal hou? Nooit. Vrou-alleen in ?n tent by Stormsriviermond of in die Drakensberge? Ondenkbaar. ?n Oorsese reis? Om by die Eiffeltoring of in Venisi? te sit en te verlang na iemand wat jy nie ken nie? Dalk daar jou boek te skryf oor die kompleksiteite van die lewe? Jou enkel-begroting sal dit in elk geval nie so reis oorleef nie. Saam met ander enkellopende vriende? Uit die aard van jou selfopofferende, traag-om-inisiatief-te-neem, melankoliese geaardheid sal jy alles saam doen wat vir hulle lekker is ? en aan die einde van die vakansie fronsend die vakansie-brosjures wegpak. Zanzibar s?n b?re jy in jou Bybel.

O ja, die opsie om saam met familie weg te gaan bly steeds. Hulle uitnodigings kom gereeld. En ja, jy waardeer dit verskriklik baie. Familie het ?n plek in jou lewe wat niemand anders sal kan vul nie. Wys jy k?m darem van iewers af. Al is jy nou nie so seker waarheen jy oppad is nie. Hulle is immers ook die enigste standhoudende element wat jy op hierdie aardbol het. Al leef hulle almal in die w?reld buite die kantlyn. Jy deel graag in hulle en hulle gesinne se vreugdes. Met hierdie vakansies kan jy egter nie help om te voel daar skort iets ernstigs met jou nie. ?Hoeveel kinders het jy?? vra jou suster se vriendin niksvermoedend terwyl julle kleinkoekies bak. Sy kan nie glo dat iemand soos jy nie getroud is nie. ?O, is d?t nou jou sussie wat nie getroud is nie?? merk jou ander suster se vriendin op terwyl sy jou hand skud met ‘n nuuskierige blik in haar o?. Pynlik. Gesprekke by familie-naweke wentel rondom kindersiektes, skool-kwessies, die nuwe vakansie-huis, hulle onlangse vakansie in die wildtuin. Ma gee raad oor kinders grootmaak. En wonder hardop hoe dit met haar oudste kleinkind (?n hele paar jaar jonger as jy) gaan wat saam met manlief oorsee bly. Een van die kleintjies vra nuuskierig, ?Hoekom het jy nie ?n man nie?? Dan verdwyn jy maar later stil-stil vir ?n lang wandeling en wonder hoekom jy gekom het. Maar jy weet hoekom, want by jou woonstel wag le?, koue, mure wat nie kwalifiseer vir ?n onderhoudende gesprek nie. En weke-oue wegneem-etes in die yskas. Binne-in jou is ?n tenkie wat net nooit vol voel nie. Selfs al gaan die geselskap oor dinge waarin jy ook belangstel voel jy uit, onseker, jou melankoliese geaardheid nie braaf genoeg om jou opinie te lug nie. ?Hoekom so stil?? ?Dit is maar hoe ek is.? Sorry om julle teleur te stel. En dit dalk vir julle ongemaklik maak. Dis maar hoe ek is. En dan is jy oortuig daar skort wel ernstig iets met jou.

?So, wanneer trou jy?? ?n Goedbedoelde, belangstellende vraag. ?n Vraag waarop ?n enkellopende persoon nie ?n antwoord het nie. Hoe sal jy nou weet? Behalwe dat jy nie ?n siener is wat geheime inligting oor die toekoms het nie ? is dit in elk geval nie in jou hande nie. En as jy mooi daaroor dink, weet jy nie eers of dit vir jou beskore is nie. Sal jy, met jou melankoliese persoonlikheid ooit ?n goeie ma kan wees? Die emosionele en sosiale eise van ouerskap kan hanteer? Geen alleentyd nie? (Iets waarsonder jy definitief nie kan klaarkom nie) Siek kinders? Sal jy jou lewe lank met een mens getroud kan wees? Commitment van daardie kaliber kan h?? ?Tot die dood ons skei?? Sal jy, met jou geneigdheid tot passiwiteit en depressiwiteit, ooit ?n sukses van ?n huweliksverhouding kan maak? Sal so ?n naby verhouding jou nie totaal versmoor nie? Iemand wat so naby aan jou lewe ? iemand waarmee jy selfs jou kamer, jou bed moet deel?? Die blote gedagte skok jou uit jou selfbejammering uit en terug in die kantlyn in. Jy woon gevolglik graag die volgende kombuistee, troue of ooievaarstee by, deel opreg in die vreugde ? verlig-tevrede in jou enkelingskap.

So, is alleen bly dus die antwoord?

Nie volgens my vriend Pieter nie.

I recently heard that a ‘talent’ as recorded in the parable of the talents, was worth a lifetime of income. Wow. I thought it was maybe like worth a hundred bucks or maybe a thousand. But a lifetime of income…

That brings some new perspective to the idea of burying it.

Seems like not a bad idea to me.

How many ‘wise’ people who win the Lotto deposit the money in the bank and live off the interest?

This is probably wiser than just squandering it all, but let’s be honest, if we received a couple of million bucks somewhere will our first thought be, ‘How can I make this money MUCH more?’ ?

I think not.

I always thought this guy who buried the talent was really an idiot.

I thought, ‘Man your little talent is worth nothing! Isn’t it obvious that you have to work and make this NOTHING SOMETHING?!’ But now I have a little more understanding for him. Because it wasn’t a NOTHING. It was a lifetime’s income! Who wants to ‘risk’ all that money on some crazy ’stewardship idea’!

Now - Important: My newfound understanding of Mr Play it Safe’s situation, does not mean his burying act was a good idea. In fact, the point the Bible makes was that it was wrong and REALLY upset the manager (I think a referral to God!) .

Now let’s dig a bit deeper and reflect on the idea of a ‘lifetime’ - lifetime’s income/value/investment… Is it possible that my whole life is reflected on the face of that coin?

Read that question again.

I am challenged to ask myself, ‘AM I DOING THE MAXIMUM WITH WHAT I RECEIVED?’ (Something between 1 and 5 lifetimes’ value…!) Because maybe I’m looking at my coin and seeing enough and thinking well that’s decent; God should settle for that.

To be honest I haven’t figured this out.

But I don’t want to be caught out as one who’s burying a coin. A coin that equals a lifetime’s something. That could have been stewarded correctly into becoming a hundred lifetimes’ somethings. And had so much more influence.

I want to create more with my coin.

But why? Why not just settle for living a good God-fearing life?

Because if that settling implies burying my coin, I don’t want to.

I want to please God. I really do.

What a spiritual word! Spirituality. A friend of mine was recently fired from her job as copywriter at a Christian based magazine. Reason was she was not spiritual enough. Or Spirit-filled enough. This assessment was made due to the fact that she did not speak in tongues, as does the editor and visionary, and does not utter prophetic utterances every second sentence. Apart from the fact that I think she can sue them for breaking of basic labor law regulations, I wish I could knock some sense in their heads personally ? perhaps with a Bible!

The fruit of the Spirit is evident in this woman?s life like in few people?s lives I know. Her Godly wisdom and incredibly mature perspective is like a well with living water. (Ha, now that?s sounds spiritual ? maybe I could get her job!) She is a skilled copywriter/editor and actually an enormous asset for any magazine. Yet her spirituality is compared to that of other staff who might show some manifestations of the Holy Spirit (or maybe not so holy one), but of whom fruit, foundation, and wisdom is perhaps less than evident!

Agh. It makes me want to puke.

JESUS WAS PROBABLY THE MOST SPIRITUAL PERSON I KNOW. I WOULD LIKE TO BASE MY SPIRITUALITY ON HIS. A MAN WHO FOUND IT A SPIRITUAL ACT TO HANG OUT WITH ORDINARY PEOPLE LIKE MYSELF, FISHERMEN, TAX COLLECTERS, WHORES? SHOULD I GO ON? A MAN WHO IS BEST DESCRIBED BY THE WORDS ‘LOVE’ AND ‘GRACE’, NOT ‘TONGUES’ AND ‘MIRACLES’.

A MAN WHO WHEN MANIFESTING SPIRITUAL GIFTS DID THIS AS INCIDENTAL RESULT OF WHO HE WAS, AND NOT AS A PREREQUISITE TO BE SOMETHING!!!

Oh how I wish this magazine would read my blog, but My World, It?s probably not spiritual enough!

Honestly I?m not sure. Blogging forces me to think about life. Think about my day. Reflect on circumstance, coincidence, people?s behavior around me, my own behavior around people.

This is a discipline which should be happening every day anyway. Most of us set time aside where we talk to God, read his Word and attempt to apply truth to our life. We also share some of our most intimate feelings and experiences with God. Which is great.

But somehow I don?t always have enough discipline to reflect thru each day. Sometimes for days on end?

Sometimes I might scan God?s Word(s).

Mostly I would talk to God about what is to come in the near future. And be waiting for his Spirit to drop some input into my spirit. Not waiting very long.

But there?s a lot of truth I know already. A lot. And you too. But how much of that truth are we weaving into our daily existence? Otherwise it is just philosophy. Which I loathe.

Disciplining myself to reflect on yesterday could force me into more application of truth for today and tomorrow.

Blogging pushes me towards that process of growth. Of course more intimate things stay within the borders of my journal. Or even my mind. But the other 80% I enjoy sharing. And occasionally some of you share your reflections and together we celebrate life.

Integrated.

With God.

I love this country - I also love the rest of the world.? After all we should love our neighbour shouldn’t we.? Luv ya Clint!? Luv ya Seth! I choose to love ya Mc D…

But I love this country!?I love to be served in the coffeshop and when asked whether I want hot or cold milk, to answer, ‘Black like you.” And then to see the surprise in the spontaneous grin.

I love to pay R6 for a glass of wine at Romans or to eat the best peri-peri chicken in the world at Tony’s for R39.

I love to watch rugby or cricket and see how thousands and thousands of South Africans unite and cheer!

I love beating the crap out of Australia in any sport! (Doesn’t happen much though)

I love to be associated with a country that has heroes like Nelson Mandela.

I love to see change. All around me.

I love DSTV.? And no adverts in the movies.?

I love Charlise - makes me proud …

I love to braai and eat good meat! And talk about hope in South Africa. Hope in God for this country.?

In spite of crime and pain and hurt.? Which has touched friends and family to?the?point of rape and death.

And God is alive in this world today.